Do you ever feel like a leaf flapping around in the wind? It may seem sometimes that you’re at the mercy of external conditions around you. It can be a terrible feeling to be out of control and victim to external conditions, whether it’s people, events or circumstances. While it’s impossible to control externals, you retain influence over yourself. You can choose in the moment how to respond.

Consider the tall oak tree with its roots deeply embedded in the earth. It stands tall, strong and majestic. In a storm though, it may bend and sway. It may even lose a branch along the way. Usually, though, the oak remains firmly planted in the ground. When have you felt more like the oak tree in your life? How did that feel to you?

The oak tree also goes through seasons. Sometimes it gains some additional life to its form. Other times it loses parts and leaves. The oak still remains. How do you respond to the seasons of your life? Are you only happy when you’re in the growth phase? Can you also find contentment and peace when there are losses?

When you find your calm in the midst of chaos, that’s true personal power. When you don’t allow outside events, people or circumstances to dictate your mental and emotional state, that is mastery. It’s not necessary or good for you to be a yo-yo with the ups and downs of life. Stop allowing other people’s moods and agenda to control you. Your life belongs to you.

Find your center. Invest in your personal stability. Cultivate a rich interior life, and return to that space for yourself when you need sanctuary. Invest in activities and relationships that offer you a sense of joy and well-being and distance from those that don’t. When you are consistent with this type of care, you are less likely to become triggered by the distressing events around you. Self-mastery takes practice, but the return on investment is irreplaceable. Reach out to us today to gain support towards self-mastery!

Gaining Consensus

Convincing others to move forward with an idea isn’t always easy. And if an idea has an element of financial risk or there’s another perceived possible downfall in the equation, there tends to be resistance. Some people resist an idea until they can be rationally persuaded. Others need to feel emotionally safe to really consider the idea. Some will resist change at nearly any cost.

#Consensus fundamentally means agreement. Gaining agreement indicates that there has been some process of inclusion in moving forward with a plan. To be clear, it doesn’t mean that everyone agrees but that everyone in some way has input in the process. A majority vote may move an idea forward, but the minority opinions have at least been acknowledged.

Gaining consensus is not only important when possible, in organizations but even in families. Ultimately, there may be decisions made for the safety or the financial stability of the group even if there is disagreement. But at least members have an input in some way.

When approaching others, even children, your body language makes a statement beyond your words. Also, your choice of words and how you state them makes a vast difference in the outcome. Consider the contrast between “you have to” versus “it looks like we may need.” Both have the same goal in mind but are said differently.

If, for instance, you need someone to improve a particular behavior in an organization or at home, think about the difference in the phrasing “you need to stop” versus “I need your help with.” You can gain consensus with different word phrases. In fact, sometimes, you can gain consensus or buy-in from another person based on one word.

This is not to say that sometimes you just have to make a decision knowing that it will be an unpopular one. When you can gain consensus, it is more likely that the idea will be solid and successful. Reach out to us today to help you and your organization gain consensus